Comments on samsara asylum: --- First, aid. Second, "I am not Super Glue, I am...

((((((John)))))), you are by no means a fool. In f...

2008-03-06T00:22:00.000-05:00

((((((John)))))), you are by no means a fool. In fact, I think you are medicine. Medicine has life saving properties.

Please take good care of our lady. She needs your healing love. :)

thank you (((John))). :) you are such a good person.

Beautiful sentiments regarding Doc, Janet. Thank y...

2008-03-05T01:24:00.000-05:00

Beautiful sentiments regarding Doc, Janet. Thank you.

yFooly,Dunno. We seem to have our own hand dance, ...

2008-03-04T22:42:00.000-05:00

yFooly,
Dunno. We seem to have our own hand dance, eh? Macarena Shmacarena.
____

Janet Blue,
I could barely breathe as I read your words at my desk earlier today. It was all I could do hold breaking down into heaving sobs...I had a patient in the waiting room.

There are no words here. There's nothing I could ever say right now as I read them again before readying for bed.

You are a gift to me.

I...I...

I'm sorry I can't do better than that right now. If I can, I'll have to take this offline in the days ahead.

From the entirety of my being, thank you. You are my friend.

If that link didn't work, here is the whole thing ...

2008-03-04T13:12:00.000-05:00

If that link didn't work, here is the whole thing - you'll have to cut and paste the whole thing into the URL window, but it's worth it. ;)

http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?
imagename=entrance-of-hell.jpg&category
=Clothing&date=2008-01-09

(((((((((Wendy))))))))Thank you so much for the ps...

2008-03-04T13:08:00.000-05:00

(((((((((Wendy))))))))

Thank you so much for the psychic love you have been sending me. I've been feeling it and I came through it ok. I'm sitting here in my bed with my vicodin and everything is fine. Vicodin is a beautiful thing... LOLOL. I have a much needed week off and am just going to try to recharge.

Listen, beautiful lady, I have been reading you. And I'm just going to come out and say it.

I think that a change would do you good. There are only so many burdens the human soul can take on. You cannot catch the deluge in a paper cup.

You are not a gas pump or a filling station. It's time for you, Wendy, to be filled and nurtured and loved and relieved. And I know a lovely man who, in spirit, I think, resembles that tabby kitty, and I'm sure he will be a big part of that. :)

I know that Tikkun Olam is a huge part of your nature and what drives you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tikkun_olam

But you, too, are a part of this world, and as such, you too, deserve and require nourishment and peace and serenity and comfort.

God did not mean for you to sacrifice yourself to the point of despair. At least Edgar Cayce had the opportunity to commune with the other side when he needed comfort. But he too, went too far and paid a price God never intended for him, I think. And you are much like him.

So what I am telling you is that I think you are due a change and a relief. Try something new. Become a pet therapist. Hell, just start a doggy day care. Study NDE experiences. Meditate. Take up photography (you are a kick ass photographer). Write a book. Hey, take pictures and publish a coffee table book on the beauty of hummingbirds or the northern lights (I hear they are particularly gorgeous up in Alaska, btw);) or something. Above all, try something fun for a change. You can make money AND have fun. It is possible and more common than you think.

I know that the number 11 can be a merciless taskmaster at times. But you have all the time in the world. You know why? Because the reality is that there is no such thing as time. It's an illusion. Because we don't die.

You have done your job brilliantly, have helped too many people to count (including this blue girl). You have exceeded any expectations that God or the Universe or whatever ever had for you. Now, She/He/It wants you to let Her/Him/It take care of you for a change. I feel it in my bones, and it is not the vicodin talking.

You are a gorgeous soul and woman. And it's because of people like you that the human race did not obliterate itself a long long time ago.

I love you, Wendy Blue. I truly do. :) Thank you. I think I speak for all of us when I say that. Take it easy. I give you permission. ;)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

(BTW, John, if you ever want me to do your numbers, have Wendy email me. :) )

PPS: Wendy, go here: http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=entrance-of-hell.jpg&category=Clothing&date=2008-01-09

ROTFL....

Hmmmm. I wonder what new uses we could come up wi...

2008-03-04T13:02:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm. I wonder what new uses we could come up with by combining the lot? Perhaps we could start a new rage - "dental floss-duct tape-super glue & a-bottle-of scotch" parties.

It has potential. It seems more interesting than the macarena.

*

And Bos,For there was nothing to do and no answer ...

2008-03-03T23:23:00.000-05:00

And Bos,

For there was nothing to do and no answer to give and I realized what a tragedy it was not just for the child but for him

This is the essence. You've caught it.

I answer and when all I can do is offer hope I curse at the god of powerlessness, that bitch.

---

Bos,Your comment... My heart, my soul is watered. ...

2008-03-03T23:18:00.000-05:00

Bos,

Your comment...

My heart, my soul is watered.
Thank you for seeing. Knowing.

I cry a million rivers reading your words. No shit.

A gift. Grace.
Many thanks.

*

a colleague in the corporate world, neat, controll...

2008-03-03T22:02:00.000-05:00

a colleague in the corporate world, neat, controlled, with an interesting history (south African army;war in Angola, then only afterwards university) practiced psychotherapy for years and gave up when a sexually abused 4 year old asked him the smallest of questions: "what will happen to me?"
When he told me this I felt so much love for her and so much love for him and so much sadness for him. For there was nothing to do and no answer to give and I realized what a tragedy it was not just for the child but for him, unable to answer her, unable to utter any words of hope.
I can only guess of the enormity of the issues you face daily, and must battle professionally and keep your emotional distance and how that wears and tears at your fiber.
How to re-construct? Re-enforce, re-build? Time. Solitude. Nature. I hope you find some.

Ahhh... laughing. That was the object, dear. It ju...

2008-03-03T18:29:00.000-05:00

Ahhh... laughing. That was the object, dear. It just is what it is. I'm actually quite coordinated, but I'm also ADHD and prone to going soooooo fast with, ummm, attentional gaps from time to time. oops. ;)

And Soph, I never knew you were so, so, "physical"...

2008-03-03T12:45:00.000-05:00

And Soph, I never knew you were so, so, "physical", uh, "coordinatedly challenged", uh, funny. (lol)

Got me laughing as I read. Thanks for the Monday chuckle.
__________

Danged Blogger...as I was saying...Sophmomocles,Wo...

2008-03-03T12:42:00.000-05:00

Danged Blogger...as I was saying...

Sophmomocles,
Wow, your endorsement of Dermabond (or whatever it's called) has sold me. I'm going to pick some up the next time I'm at the store. Cool!

As for disimpacting...in this instance it refers to the insertion of fingers into the anus to remove fecal matter. (How's that for clinical so as not to be too offputting?) Three to four times a day...so sad...

And I just know you'll appreciate the list on burn-out stages I'll be tossing out soon. You. will. so. relate.
(heh)
__________

Chani,
Oh dear. Oh dear. That sounds awful. Goodness.

No, it is my intention to leap out the fire before being consumed or burnt beyond recognition. But one never knows,do they, one never knows when or if. There is hope...I hold to that as much as possible in everything in life. Like you. (smiling at you again)

Have you written about your experiences along these lines on your site? If so, please refer link.
________

Qi,Yes, it seems "empathy overload" has a role in ...

2008-03-03T12:27:00.000-05:00

Qi,
Yes, it seems "empathy overload" has a role in compassion fatigue. Certainly, being exposed to the intense emotional output of others over a long period of time and on a consistent basis takes a toll. This puts healthcare workers at particular risk, not that other fields don't have their brushes with the phenomenon. It's the trauma piece that separates the wheat from the chaff--repeated exposure to another's trauma, when such activity is the actual basis for and essence of the work/job description.

Yes, also, to skills learned and innate. I wish I had a dollar for each time I've heard, "I don't know how you do what you do. I could never do it...sit and listen or be with people like that all day long. No way." I respond by saying something like, "Well, I'm sure you do things in your work that I could never do, too, so good thing we've all got our 'special' talents, huh?" I am in awe of your ability to produce, physically bring into being, the abstract concepts/visions of another. It would take me much longer to achieve anything close (if that were even possible)to what probably feels like water rolling off a duck's back to you.

It's been awhile since you've poured. I'll take it neat, thanks.
(smile)
______________

The worker burnout. I can certainly understand, ha...

2008-03-03T12:01:00.000-05:00

The worker burnout. I can certainly understand, having gone through that to a degree that I reached the level of psychotic depression.

I know you won't let that happen with you. :)

Well, I don't have to tell you that burnout is rea...

2008-03-03T10:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I don't have to tell you that burnout is real, very real. I've never heard of disimpact but it sounds wholly unpleasant. As for dermabond, as the kids say (and in keeping with our theme) it's the shit. Really. That stuff completely rocks. Since I saw the docs use it on The Youngest's nose when he got hit in the face by a pitch and his nose breaking opened the skin from the inside, I've kept it around (for the uninitiated, don't feel too badly for my baby - he was 19 and went on in the game to drive in four runs with a double and a homerun). I used it on an andiron burn on my forearm so I could continue to throw pots and then again on the nasty cut in my scalp from closing an SUV's liftgate on my head (this just a couple of weeks ago). Most recently, on some cut on my toe that just happened - I have no idea how. Dermabond (OTC - Second Skin or Nu-Skin, I think) rocks, especially for one as prone to going way to fast and bumping into harm, as I. It's the new Band-Aid.

There I go, digressing again. There are no answers I can give you that you don't already know. I believe that you will find a way to take care of yourself. You're in my thoughts.

Dotcalm

Is this akin to empathy overload? I know whatever...

2008-03-03T00:55:00.000-05:00

Is this akin to empathy overload? I know whatever shields I possess to separate my emotions from others couldn't withstand the contant emotional barage without serious degradation.

That's probably why I am in awe of those in your line of work. I think it takes an amazing set of skills both learned and inate to keep all those incoming emotions balanced (and shielded) from your own.

/pouring you a single malt:-)